Long before science gave us the knowledge that the universe is populated by revolving celestial bodies, people attributed many things to the magic of the moon. A bright, shining globe traversing the sky and controlling the tides, it was blamed for all manners of catastrophe and natural disaster. The sky and all the things that live there are still frequently seen as symbols of a larger truth. My own writing is littered with examples of this.
Last night, there was a full moon, a lunar eclipse and the close passing of a comet. Even the eclipse felt unusual, a threat of darkness across a snow moon bright over Boston after a barely finished blizzard. It was a fitting end to an unusual week.
A friend who also has SM came to town for a family emergency. She had planned to stay over for one night but we had a blizzard so she stayed over for three. We hung out and played with the dog and watched documentaries. We chatted about some exploits we plan to undertake when we can collectively get our health issues to stabilize. We went to Disney World a few years ago and have always planned to travel abroad at some point.
I started trialing elemental formulas last week. So far, everything I have tasted has been vile. I can force myself to do a lot of unpleasant things but I cannot get much of it down. I am back to Orgain protein with almond milk and maple syrup. My doctor approved adding back in plain potato chips to help with getting in calories and fats so at least I don’t feel like I’m starving all the time.
Some things are improving. I’m not vomiting every day. My lower GI issues are largely the same but my bleed has slowed. I’m still tired but my stamina is increasing. I have had to step up pain management but no major reactions or anaphylaxis. I have appointments this week to determine what the next step is. I’m starting Xolair soon and am hopeful that will allow me to eat more normally.
I have spent a lot of time speculating about exactly why I got so sick so fast. Pesticides from getting spraying are a possibility. But there are lots of other possibilities, too. Stress. Overall damage to my GI tract. A sudden reaction to something I previously tolerated. A strange moon.
It is hard for me to accept that my disease doesn’t need a reason to worsen. I can do everything I am supposed to and still get sick.